I cheated on my boyfriend with my ex

Coming to felt like swimming up from the depths of a murky pond. When I reached the surface, I found a reality scarier than the darkness. I was on my stomach on an air mattress on a dorm room floor. A man crushed me from above, thrusting into me roughly from behind. My leaden brain, slowly grinding back to full consciousness, struggled to push away unwanted questions: How did I get here? Did I say yes to this? I did my best to piece the fractured night together like shards of glass. The last thing I remembered was arriving at a beach-themed frat party with my roommate, who had primed me with several shots during our pre-game and convinced me to forgo a shirt for a bikini top.

Evidently, other friends noticed that I was dangerously drunk, and one deposited me in the common room of her dorm suite to sleep it off, along with her brother, who was visiting that weekend.

Don't you feel cooler? I retained so few memories that it was surprisingly easy to let the whole incident recede from my mind. In an attempt to shake off the surreal, creeping dread, I told myself things like, Those shots were a bad idea, but I needed to blow off steam. I told close girlfriends the bare minimum, letting them assume the encounter was consensual.

He cheated on me with his Ex girlfriend - Second chance snapchat

I started dating someone new. I graduated. I got a job. My denial was so strong, so effective, that I could sit a few feet away from him like it was no big deal, laughing, chatting, eating lasagna. After dinner, it became clear that the brother would be joining us at the bar and, strangely, I started to escalate my small talk to flirtation. Without a clear thought or strategy, I drank enough to soften my focus and banish my inhibitions, but not so much that I lost control. I knew where I was and how to get to safety.

I could pinpoint my friends on the dance floor—the better to dodge them as I moved closer and closer to my assailant. Eventually I suggested we go back to his apartment. We rolled around and made out in the bottom half of a bunk bed. It was all very PG; the way I might have behaved with a high school crush.

I woke to find three friends rousing on his grungy couch and shooting me confused looks—they were friendly with my pretty serious boyfriend. But I was neither. An obscure yet palpable sense of relief drove away any hint of guilt before it could take hold. Counterintuitive as it may seem, my impulse to initiate a second encounter with my attacker more than a year after the original incident makes sense to experts on sexual assault.

Cheated on my boyfriend, now he hates me?

Because who wants to think of themselves as a rape victim? For so long, I evaded the truth so that I could avoid becoming a statistic: 70 percent of rapes are committed by someone known to the victim. Up to 25 percent of women will experience rape during college. It was easier for me to cling to the idea of being a cool, sexually evolved college student than it was to face the excruciating truth—that there was no way I consented in my blacked-out state.

By seducing my rapist, I extended the shelf life of my denial. Whenever my mind flashed back to that terrifying night in the dorm, the bitter recollection was diffused by a newer, more palatable memory.My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for just over a year now in an exclusive and loving relationship.

We were once childhood sweethearts when we were 11 years old and lost touch mid teens only to reunite in May last year and instantly fell for each other. She made life unbearable for him during her pregnancy and broke it off with him.

He kept the pregnancy a secret from his family and friends for months and came clean with his mother, with whom he has a good relationship, when the little girl was 6months old. Or so the story goes. I found it very difficult to come to terms with the fact that he had this child and would forever be inextricably linked to another woman because of it.

Then as our relationship progressed, so did that of him and his ex and daughter and he began to spend more and more time with them. I finally felt ready to meet them both in about June this year.

i cheated on my boyfriend with my ex

We had been together for a year and had been discussing the possibility of marriage in the future. But clearly I did, as he has just broken down and confessed to me that he has slept with her twice in the past two months and stayed over at their house when he had in fact been lying to me, saying he was at home we live two hours apart and only see each other every 2nd weekend, as he now spends alternate weekends seeing his daughter.

Apparently the ex made the first move but he never had to follow through and yet he did. In the midst of this, he also confessed that when we had been through a rough patch 9 months ago, he had had one night stand with another woman which never materialized into anything more.

I discovered texts from her at the time and confronted him but he told me I was being grossly insecure. Much like he did with his ex. And I saw true remorse in his eyes. He has always despised men who cheat and I have always felt so calmed by his stance on infidelity.

I really do want to give him the chance to be the man that he used to be and that I know he can be but forgiveness and trust are a huge huge issue obviously. He has called her and told her he made a mistake being with her and that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me — potentially jeopardizing his ability to see his daughter if the ex withholds her — and I see this as a huge and positive step taken by him.

He wants to make amends for it all, to become the man he used to be. He said he lost his way and forgot his roots and truly truly loves me with all his heart and wants to make a life with me if I will give him another chance. But what on earth do I do?From a young woman in the U.

I was convinced I was going to marry this man.

i cheated on my boyfriend with my ex

I was devastated, but he answered all of my questions and I moved on. They had been together on and off for 10 years. Fast forward to last weekend- he told me he had to drive her 4 hours to a dealership to get a new car because she had gotten in a wreck and her car was totaled. I came to see him on his lunch break, also the day he was taking her to get the car. Everything was great. They were supposed to get to the dealership at 7pm because they closed at 8pm.

Tried to call at No answer. I tried to call, no answer. I asked him to please call me and he turned his phone off. I looked at her Facebook and found out it was her birthday. He calls me at noon the next day. He showed no remorse, there was no emotion. After we got off the phone he sent a broken heart and sad face emoji. I am so devastated. What are your thoughts on the situation and do you have any advice? You have only been in this relationship for 3 months. My advice? Cut your losses and move on.

From what you wrote, it looks to me like he has never divorced his wife and never will. The two of them have an arrangement that suits them. He has protected his children by leaving but has also stayed in relationship with their mother — for 10 years! You are only He has taken advantage of your youth and inexperience. Give up any fantasies you have that he can change and make yourself available for someone who can love you, cherish you and be honest with you, as you deserve.

Marie Hartwell-Walker Dr. Marie is licensed as both a psychologist and marriage and family counselor. She specializes in couples and family therapy and parent education. Follow her on Facebook or Twitter. Psych Central.When you find out that your boyfriend has cheated on you, it is devastating.

You thought that you had a great relationship, and you completely trusted him. Now, you feel betrayed and wonder if he ever really loved you at all. Was he ever as committed to the relationship as you are? Can you still have a relationship with him when you know that he betrayed you completely? This is by far one of the most common questions that people ask. You were totally committed to the relationship and never even wanted to cheat on him.

You want to know why he could cheat on you when he always told you how much he loved you and how committed he was. Was everything that he told you a lie? There are several reasons why he might have cheated on you with his ex-girlfriend. The main thing is that he did. No matter what the reason was, you have to decide if you can stay with him. It is totally understandable if you cannot get over the betrayal and just want to move on. You have to decide if you think that he will remain faithful in the future or if he is stuck on his ex-girlfriend.

While this might be just a one-time thing, it could also be the start of a pattern of cheating. Right now, you have to decide if it is worth it to stay in the relationship and try rebuilding the lost trust. This is one of the reasons why boyfriends cheat with an ex-girlfriend. Even if they actually broke up and he thought he was over her, a part of him may have remained emotionally involved.

When an opportunity came up to be with her in any way, he took it. If this is the reason why he cheated, then you should definitely end the relationship and move on. We all think that we will remain faithful.

There is a decent chance that your boyfriend met up with her without any plan to cheat on you at all. He may have wrongly assumed that he was strong enough to turn down any advance and to ignore any attraction that he had for her. When the opportunity to cheat came up, he found out how wrong he was.

In a case like this, what you do depends on the situation and what he plans to do next. If he realizes that he was not strong enough to resist the temptation, then he might also be willing to change. Instead of relying on his strength and willpower, he may now realize that he just has to avoid being in any situation where cheating could happen. It is entirely up to you whether you want take a chance on him and stay in the relationship or not.

Sometimes, the reason is simple. He wanted sex, an opportunity came up and he had no desire to turn it down. He could be just a jerk who uses people for his own needs, or he may just have terrible control over himself. Either way, you should really think of leaving him if this is the reason.

This reason is depressing, but it happens all the time. Sometimes, people start a relationship as away to kill time.He was my first boyfriend. He was my first everything.

Up until meeting him, I had no interest in guys. When we met he was 19 years old and I was We were together for 8 years. Four of those years were full of spontaneous sex, a youthful carelessness, and an exciting recklessness. We really believed we would live forever in youth and in love. But time passed, responsibilities began to happen and adulthood hit us, almost unexpectedly.

Stress began to take over our relationship and we found ourselves having no time for fun and more time for disagreements. We were so frustrated trying to make a name for ourselves in our respective fields, that we took our stress out on each other.

I felt myself losing him. He did very little to reassure me and insecurities as they often do quickly took over. One day, he announced he was quitting his job and taking time off to think about what his next step would be. He was a successful chef with many prestigious restaurant openings under his name, so I was surprised he was moving away from a stable, secure job but I supported his decision.

This broke my heart but because we had been together for 8 years, saw each other through losses and triumphs, and tried our best to preserve the friendship within our relationship, I so wanted to believe in us.

I met Rocky a few times in the past and actually really liked her. She was a respectable girl with a lot of talents. I appreciated her friendship in his life. I thought she was a good example. I trusted her. Silly me. Rocky seemed to call him at late hours of the night but because they were in the restaurant industry, I understood there had to be a lot of planning.

But my relationship was already in a fragile place that any doubt created a bruise, a dent, a break. We quickly and almost too slowly went from youthful and fun to tired and angry. Weeks later, I found out that Rocky and Sergio had been seeing each other for the last 6 months.

Yes, 6 months!Tomorrow is my boyfriend and my 2 year anniversary. This card lies blank on my living room floor. Because two days ago, I broke the trust. I fucked up. I cheated.

Saturday night, I was at a party with my friends where I knew my ex would be. He and I have stayed in sporadic contract throughout the years since we had our fling.

He and I are like magnets. Everyone is aware that we have a past and can see it in the sparks that fly between us. That night, everything was laid out on the table.

Yet, we still cannot keep our hands off each other. Not fair. Our talk ended with me asking him to take me home and him asking me twice if I was sure. Everything in the evening pointed to this happening. No one saw us leave together. No one stopped us getting into the taxi. We kiss in the cab, we kiss before I can even unlock my apartment door. An apartment, in which, there are multiple photos of my happy relationship.

He throws me on the bed and takes off my clothes. I wake up in the morning feeling not one once of guilt. I roll over and kiss his cheek and his face wrinkles up and he smiles.

We cuddle and fuck again. As I drive him home and drop him off, a small wave of guilt comes over me. This guilt is not the kind that makes me pick up my phone and call my boyfriend. I only feel guilty for how perfect it was. I will never tell him what happened this past weekend because it had nothing to do with him.

i cheated on my boyfriend with my ex

But sometimes you need to be selfish. He is selfish because his time is spent building a business. Keeping this to myself and never speaking of it again. Not fair to anyone.

I cheated on my boyfriend with my ex?

This weekend I chose to live my life to the fullest and I have no regrets. I know exactly what my life would look like if I told my boyfriend what happened. So I will keep this to myself, as a sort of personal send off to my single life. I will move forward with my happy relationship; rebuild the magic. Right now, it feels like the right choice. I was always against cheating. I cheated on my boyfriend and sadly, I keep in touch with that guy. Not only that, but I have feelings so him.

Anyway, I think you shoud keep what you did to yourself and continue your life.My boyfriend and I have been seeing each other for just over a year now in an exclusive and loving relationship. We were once childhood sweethearts when we were 11 years old and lost touch mid teens only to reunite in May last year and instantly fell for each other.

She made life unbearable for him during her pregnancy and broke it off with him. He kept the pregnancy a secret from his family and friends for months and came clean with his mother, with whom he has a good relationship, when the little girl was 6months old. Or so the story goes.

I found it very difficult to come to terms with the fact that he had this child and would forever be inextricably linked to another woman because of it. Then as our relationship progressed, so did that of him and his ex and daughter and he began to spend more and more time with them.

I finally felt ready to meet them both in about June this year. We had been together for a year and had been discussing the possibility of marriage in the future. But clearly I did, as he has just broken down and confessed to me that he has slept with her twice in the past two months and stayed over at their house when he had in fact been lying to me, saying he was at home we live two hours apart and only see each other every 2nd weekend, as he now spends alternate weekends seeing his daughter.

Apparently the ex made the first move but he never had to follow through and yet he did. In the midst of this, he also confessed that when we had been through a rough patch 9 months ago, he had had one night stand with another woman which never materialized into anything more.

I discovered texts from her at the time and confronted him but he told me I was being grossly insecure. Much like he did with his ex. And I saw true remorse in his eyes.

He has always despised men who cheat and I have always felt so calmed by his stance on infidelity. I really do want to give him the chance to be the man that he used to be and that I know he can be but forgiveness and trust are a huge huge issue obviously. He has called her and told her he made a mistake being with her and that he wants to spend the rest of his life with me — potentially jeopardizing his ability to see his daughter if the ex withholds her — and I see this as a huge and positive step taken by him.

He wants to make amends for it all, to become the man he used to be. He said he lost his way and forgot his roots and truly truly loves me with all his heart and wants to make a life with me if I will give him another chance. But what on earth do I do?

Or more importantly, where do I begin.